why?

Because my heart beats faster standing near you.
I know I love you.
Because I get a tearful catch of joy in my throat when I look into your eyes.
I know I never want to be without you.
Because your tender fragile heart fills my soul with willingness and compassion.
I know I love myself more by loving you.
Because you need patience and honesty and kindness.
I know I will be good to you.

Buried Deep

I've had my head in the work website all morning, it's been good, I feel a little renewed enthusiasm for making it all optimized. Some definite things I can do and good work ahead of me. Meanwhile I've moved back to the attic, yes! Maybe I'll get a little of the old magic back. I am wishing for a little stillness but I know that until I get some things taken care of financially the next 8 months to year of my life will be all about road trip upon road trip to see the LOML. As long as he can hold on until I get my debts paid off, I truly believe we have a chance together. Tho I know nothing lasts forever and love is tenuous at best, I am still the kind to throw caution to the wind where my heart is concerned. It's part of that whole live life to the fullest philosophy. That being said, just because I can handle a few lumps doesn't mean I WANT to. So you better be good to me.

i learned to smile today
just to do it especially when i didn't want to
it hurts at first
it aches and feels contrived
which it is
but like a yoga posture
holding it in place
for a few seconds
just long enough to assimilate its meaning
my days can be made to be better

why so magical?

why so infinite
why so beautiful
why so unrelenting

unexpected

sudden

love light at high noon

fire!

when willful lips conspire
and the heart does desire
give up
let go
succumb
lay the bodies on the pyre

talk

the ticking measure
of the heart clock
does not rule in hours
but moments
touches
sighs
with my love near it is all in an instant
when he is not
all is still
no touch to move the hands
holding out for
one sweet word
to set the rythm

Old Gravestones

giving up

let go
hang on
don't leave
take time
i'm lost
confused
spinning
trying
hanging on
letting go
suspended mid air
waiting for a hand
to reach me
reach out to me
i'm just
waiting

Pete and the Pirates...Come to the bar

hmm, just heard this song on the recommendation of a friend...these lyrics are hitting me in a very iron-dipitous way..

I’ll be sticking round til the seasons turning
I’m gonna hang around until the summers dead
But you keep following me with the words you left me
banging around in the rooms inside my head
hi there mr. blackbird your friends are calling you
so you better fly up high in the cherry tree
but keep one little eye fixed on your girlfriend
or she will come sit on my window and talk to me
stop everything
think about coming home for a while
it doesn’t matter what happened to you
you’re my crocodile
it doesn’t matter, doesn’t matter at all
just come to the bar
get back into the rhythm of things and come to the bar

in case you're looking...see? from 2005